My early understanding of God came through the churches. And what sin did churches thunder against most? Immorality! And what did they mean by immorality? A lust for sex!
Murder, theft, lying – were all described as sinful – but they were never referred to as being immoral! That was why I always felt so degraded, so depraved, so intrinsically evil. And, in a way, getting to know God better actually made it worse. God was holy – I was anything but! Christ was pure - I didn't know the meaning of the word! I just wanted to crawl under a rock. As the saying goes, I felt so low that I could have walked under a snake with my umbrella up. Yes – I thought of suicide. But I couldn't think of any explanation that God would accept.
Our children came quickly, so perhaps for a while I didn't notice how lonely I was. Also my in-laws were very kind and supportive. But as time went on the loneliness of spirit and soul really started to bite. I didn't seem to be able to get close to God because of my constant fights with Him over Bob. Because of being pregnant so often, (with miscarriages in between), I couldn't build up strong ties with my local church, as my attendance was spasmodic. Also, this was in a small country town, and I was still regarded more or less as a stranger, so I didn't fit in anywhere. However, God in His kindness, provided me with one dear lady who became my spiritual mother.
But this was in the late 1950s, early 1960s. We were too poor to have the phone on - Bob was the only one working. Because I had had four kids in quick succession, (the first one was not yet five when the fourth one was born), I couldn't work. So if I wanted to talk to the only real friend I had, I had to load the kids into the car. Ever tried having a "deep and meaningful" conversation with a friend, with four little kids at foot? I wasn't physically isolated from people, but I certainly was spiritually.
Naturally I prayed for my husband's salvation. Yes, there was quite a selfish ingredient, I thought it would make life easier for me. You see I had this dream - you probably have it too. I used to say to myself How wonderful it will be when Bob comes to the Lord. He will take his rightful place as spiritual head of the house, we will kneel down and pray together, and we will have Family Devotions around the table. It didn't happen.
As you sort, toss out any mismatches or hopelessly broken pieces. Reconsider keeping anything out-of-date or that you haven't worn in years. If a broken piece of jewelry can be repaired and you still want it, then set it aside to fix later. Finally, count how many pieces you have left of each style and type.
Pearl jewelry is the best provide customers with top quality service and to help you in creating memorable occasions such as weddings, from pearl jewelry wholesale you can get some small onces as wholesale pearl earings, freshwater pearl pendant, cheap pearl ring, wholesale pearl bracelet, wholesale pearl necklace, freshwater pearl strands, cheap pearl beads , twisted pearl necklace. and so on. The most romantically celebrated Valentine's days. It can provide quality service with a personal touch on that website. I had chosen some good onces for my best friends, you might have searching for that ideal gift for your loved ones. Good luck!
Orignal From: My early understanding
没有评论:
发表评论